Early
Life
At 12:04 AM on July 4th of 1974, the
greatest intellectual spirits, still floating about in the ether, coalesced and
found manifestation in Mr. Jason E. Mazzella.
Not since the discovery of the Dali lama in 1937 has such a birth been
celebrated. Mr. Mazzella’s world
acceptance, ordination and subsequent celebration have not yet come to complete
fruition, but his spokespeople assure us it is forthcoming.
Glimmers of his ability were first detected at the
early age of three when, as his mother turned her back for one minute, he
managed to get his head stuck in the hand railing leading up the front steps of
his boyhood home in Dallas Texas. His
mother, a woman not known for her stability in times of pressure, called the
fire department. Amazingly, before the
call for aid could be completed, the young Mazzella mysteriously passed his
head back through the rot iron bars. A
crisis had been averted and a destiny revealed.
The number of stunning incidents following that occasion are too
numerous to compile. The following is a list of highlights:
1979 unsuccessfully attempted to go down a flight
of stairs in a laundry basket and walked away with only a
mild concussion, and
the notion that his middle name was Gustavo
1980 tested and consequently learned of the
structural failings of an umbrella when used as a parachute
1982 startled his sister while she was in the midst
of hanging the laundry and received a hanger in the eye for it
1983 learned of his ability to shoot milk out of
his eye as a result of the previous year’s “hanger in the eye” incident
1984 tried to impress his first love interest with
the milk-out-the-eye trick and suspected it as an ineffective method for
impressing
females
1985
became convinced of the ineffectiveness of the
milk-out-the-eye trick
1988 learns that he, and those his Junior High
administration called “lackeys”, are the only ones who appreciate his sense of
humor
1989 “strongly encouraged to withdraw” from the
public school scene
1989 enrolls at Bishop Lynch
1990 discovers that it is neither safe nor easy to
grab onto a moving train
1993 turns down scholarship money to become a
rock star
1995 begins
to realizes that the discrepancy between what he hears in his head and what the
audience hears might be the reason for his
struggling career as a
musician
1996 goes to college
1999 marries
2000 graduates and becomes an English teacher at the
same High School that “strongly encourage” withdrawal in 1989 (the school that
actually
graduated him wanted nothing to do with him)
2005 birth of his son
2006 goes to work for Parish Episcopal.
In and out of these exploits Mr. Mazzella traveled
the globe where he earned the reputation of a lover in
Photographic
Timeline
The Young Mr. Mazzella circa 1976
The young Mr. Mazzella as a 7th grader at Lake Highlands
Jr. High—1987
The young Mr. Mazzella as a Junior at
The young “I’m not going to shave this summer” Mr.
Mazzella—1992
The young Mr. Mazzella with his
father. Photo taken in
The only surviving photo of the
young Mr. Mazzella’s trip to
Gym Membership badge—1994
The rock star Mr. Mazzella with his long time girlfriend,
Ms. Catrina Morones—1995.
College Bound Mr. Mazzella—1996
The college Mr. Mazzella with his fiancé, Ms.
Catrina Morones—1998.
The wedded Mr. Mazzella with his wife, Mrs. Catrina
Mazzella—1999
Teaching intern Badge for
Richardson Independent School District ID
badge—2000
The slow Mr. Mazzella visiting the
Poconos—2000
The Father Mr. Mazzella with the New Mr. Aidan
Mazzella—2005
The new Mazzella Family—Mazzella, Mr. Aidan,
& Mrs. Catrina—2005
Mr. Aidan Mazzella with his best friend Ms. Mitchie Mazzella—2006
Mr. Mazzella and Mr. Aidan at the
Sir Mazzella and Sir Aidan—2008